WINDSOR, N.S. — As Judy DesRoches leaned over her infant’s highchair to feed him, a wisp of hair fell from her head.
It was the last straw.
She had already cut her hair twice in an effort to reduce her hair loss. But at that moment, as she looked at the strands laying near his food, she knew it was time to get out the clippers.
DesRoches, a mother of three, had just started chemotherapy treatments. Instead of dwelling on the inevitable, her husband, Marc, and their eldest daughter, Lydia, helped to turn the head shaving into a celebration of sorts. Armed with a video camera, her daughter eagerly agreed to film it.
“My first chemo was in July and it started to fall out. I could feel it falling out. So, we cut it shorter. I got a little bob. And then we cut it again,” said DesRoches, touching the curly waves now growing back.
DesRoches was on maternity leave when she discovered a lump on her breast. It was May 2019. She visited her doctor within the week, had an ultrasound and then a biopsy. When they returned from a family vacation, they learned the lump was cancerous.
“There’s so many different types of breast cancer and I had triple-negative, which is a little more rare and needs to be treated a little more aggressively,” said DesRoches.
According to the Canadian Cancer Society, triple-negative breast cancer generally occurs in women under 40 years old and usually consists of high-grade, or aggressive, tumours. This type of breast cancer is different than most and requires an individualized treatment plan.
She began chemotherapy treatments that July.
“The treatment plan, almost every single time I went, seemed to change. There’s new research,” recalled DesRoches.
Every three weeks she received a round of chemo. That lasted for six rounds. Then she had a lumpectomy before Christmas. In late January, she found out part of the tumour was still there and she would have to have a mastectomy. She did that operation within a week.
“After I healed from that, I started a daily chemo pill at home, which wasn’t nearly as bad as the infused, through the IV, chemo in the beginning,” said DesRoches.
Her last chemo pill was mid-July.
“Full treatment, everything done, was pretty much a year.”
As her energy levels continue to improve, she says it feels like her diagnosis was ages ago.
“My hair is growing back. It just feels like so long ago,” said DesRoches while sitting in an office at King’s-Edgehill School.
POSITIVE OUTLOOK
Like many people, the first few weeks after the diagnosis she was in shock, reading as much as she could, trying to find online stories she could relate to. But the more she read, the more she realized how quickly people dwell on the negative. That’s not her style.
“It was just awful trying to navigate my day like that, so I was like, I’ve got to stop reading the internet and go out and be positive with my kids. It’s easier to show my kids that I can do this and beat this if they’re happy and not worried,” she said.
“It’s a lot easier, I found out really quick, to be positive than to be negative.”
Around the same time, she also did something out of character: she shared her diagnosis on social media.
“I share pictures of my kids, silly things they have done — the typical basic mom thing on Facebook. But I don’t tell stories on Facebook,” DesRoches said.
But one day last summer, she poured her heart out in a post, and the response she received from friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances and complete strangers was overwhelming.
“I’m pretty sure my family was fed by the community and my friends. Everyone brought us food. People I didn’t even know were dropping off gift cards and frozen meals. During my whole chemo treatment, our freezer was just overflowing with lasagnas and casseroles.”
The 36-year-old refers to the cancer as a gift — one that she wouldn’t want to give anyone but one that has given her so much by way of new connections and hope.
And she’s grateful she’s been able to give back. In December, she shared her knowledge of cancer with someone who was just diagnosed.
“It went full circle. My community helped me and I’m helping my community.”
‘A REAL INSPIRATION’
For the past eight years, DesRoches has been the head of the female residence at King’s-Edgehill School. As such, her family lives on the KES campus.
Taya Shields, the Windsor West Hants Terry Fox Run co-ordinator, said DesRoches has been participating in the run at KES since she was a student in 2000. She continued to attend as alumni, then as an employee.
“She’s the most positive person, upbeat person. She’s perfect for working with young people,” said Shields when asked about her colleague and former student.
Shields says DesRoches’ enthusiasm and positive energy is infectious.
“She was diagnosed with breast cancer and she did not miss a day of work. She did not miss a Terry Fox Run,” said DesRoches.
“Some people cower away but Judy is a force. She is a real inspiration.”
Even when she was nine months pregnant, DesRoches still participated in the walk, and delivered her firstborn the next day.
“I just think of the Terry Fox story and I think of Judy and I see some amazing parallels there — her strength of spirit, her motivation, inspiration. Wouldn’t Terry Fox have loved to hear her story?” said Shields.
Although the fundraiser for cancer research is virtual this year — participants are encouraged to do a five-kilometre walk or run sometime on Sept. 20 — DesRoches intends on pounding the pavement.
DesRoches said she’s always been inspired by Terry Fox’s story and the fundraiser it launched. In recent years, she says participating in the run has taken on even more meaning as she’s witnessed firsthand how important cancer research is. Her father, Paul Redden, who was also born and raised in Windsor, was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2008.
Now, she has conquered triple-negative breast cancer.
“This year, I’m healthy; I’m able to run or push my kids in the stroller this time or bike with my kids and not be exhausted,” she said.
“I’m just going to go out and enjoy the run and be grateful that I can do the run.”
To register for the run or donate to cancer research, use the direct community link: http://www.terryfox.ca/terryfoxrun/windsorkingsedgehill.
