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ASK THE THERAPISTS: Don't fear a layoff, embrace change

Waiting and wondering if a layoff notice will land is stressful. Take note your blessings and acknowledge change is good.
Waiting and wondering if a layoff notice will land is stressful. Take note your blessings and acknowledge change is good. - 123RF stock photo

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Olive Tapenade & Vinho Verde | SaltWire

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I work in the service industry and there are a lot of layoffs at my place of employment. Me and my whole division are walking on eggshells, waiting to see if we’re next. How do I maintain my cool during this stressful time?

Jenny

I’m sorry to hear that things are so stressful for you. This is such a hard time for so many of us right now. Let’s dive right in by reminding ourselves of our brain’s favouritism to negativity. It’s helpful to know our brains are wired to look for warning signs it’s all going to fall apart, so we can take effective precautions that weigh in on survival. It’s done a pretty good job of keeping us alive so far, but our goal is not just to live long, it’s also to live well.

To help you embrace a more expanded, balanced perspective, look around you right now and notice five things that are beautiful, good and positive. It’s not hard to see the flowers when you turn your attention away from the weeds, right? Try keeping a blessings journal and carry it with you so you can record all of the blessings in your life as they arise. At the end of each day, you can reread what you noted, and use it to keep you walking on the sunny side during these dark times.

Next step is to reassure yourself that change is inevitable. Everything changes in life. When we initiate the change, we feel empowered and excited, but when change happens without our con-sent, life can feel cruel and overwhelming. It's natural not to like these changes, but if we go to battle over them, we end up feeling worse which may even cause us to act impulsively.

In times when life seems to be changing and you can’t do anything about it, instead of fighting it, invite yourself to flow with change (what choice do you have anyway?). Acceptance may not change your mind about what’s happening, but it can certainly help you move through it with more ease and grace. This may also give you the energy and inspiration to create positive change. Many times, when we go through challenging phases, once on the other side of change, we realize there was actually some good that came from it. Without trying to minimize your current hardship, it’s essential to stay open to new opportunities.

Finally, it’s so important to create some breathing space in your mind and body by taking a deep, slow, belly breath. As you allow the outbreath to leave you, flow with the energy of release and letting go. Each breath contains an ending. It feels pretty good to let your body relax and your mind quiet, doesn’t it? Then, as you welcome the inhale, notice the sensations of being filled up. There are so many new beginnings in life, as with each inhalation. A few simple moments of breathing space can renew and inspire your whole world.

Go gently and know that you’re not alone, as we’ll be thinking of you.

Blair

In my youth in Cape Breton, I lived through a lot of changes in the industries, as my grandfather worked in the mines and my father was a steel worker. I remember all too well the fear and dread when the downturn happened in both industries. Although the decline in employment today is a result of a different cause, the fear produced is the same. Even within our own entrepreneurial community, we have witnessed one contract after another being cancelled. So, I too know the uncertainty you’re facing.

First, it’s important to let yourself feel the gravity of the situation. When facing your reality, you can then ask yourself, what are the opportunities I have before me? This simple question can turn our doom and gloom instinct that Jenny speaks about, into a perspective of hope. Grab a sheet of paper and write down these two words over and over: “I could…” and explore possible alternatives to your current dilemma. For example, Jenny’s beloved aesthetician, who has been off work for many months, has turned her love of gardening into a thriving landscaping business.

This is a perfect time to face your fears that have been holding you back so you can step into your life in a more vibrant way. Have you been postponing things or ideas because you’ve been afraid of failure, or judgment?

For years I let the fear of being seen on camera stop me from doing live presentations, but with the current restrictions, I’ve had no choice. Since I’ve moved through that fear barrier with all of our Zoom classes, I’ve expanded my potential in an unanticipated way.

Where can you challenge your growing edge so you too can rise to a new level in your life, in-stead of wilting in the face of doors closing? As the Rankins sang “And then we rise again.” We always have. We always will.

Have a question for Jenny and Blair? Send your inquiries to [email protected]

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