How concerned are you about narcissism in the workplace?
To answer this question, it’s helpful to be clear that narcissism falls on a continuum from healthy to pathological self-love that can be defined as narcissistic personality disorder.
There’s nothing wrong with a person being self-confident and proud to share their accomplishments, but narcissism becomes a problem when they’re preoccupied with themselves and require constant approval and recognition from others. People who have a higher narcissistic tendency are much more focused on their own needs and have little concern about other’s needs.
Employees with high degrees of narcissism are constantly acting and gaming for their personal gain. They worry about others getting ahead of them, blame others quickly, and present an egotistic attitude.
A growing body of knowledge is researching the impact of narcissism in the workplace. One reason why narcissism is growing is how society has evolved around focusing on the “I” versus the “we.” Researchers report that between 1960 and 2008 use of the pronoun “we” has decreased by 10 per cent and “I, me” has increased by 42 per cent.
Employees who have high degrees of narcissism can have a negative impact on their work culture, or are more likely to engage in disruptive and challenging behaviours than their peers.
To evaluate the degree of narcissism a person may have, on a scale one (never) to five (always), provide a score for each of the following:
Demanding
— constantly makes demands of others, capable of belittling, intimidating, bullying others to get what they want.
Delusional
— has set their expectation they must have the best of everything (e.g., car, clothes); nothing less will be acceptable.
Arrogant
— has an over-inflated view of their self-importance that creates the perception of feeling special and better than others.
Attention
— despite a false outward appearance, feels insecure and seeks constant praise to feed their ego, and are hypersensitive to criticism.
Brag
— constantly talks about themselves (e.g., knowledge, skills), often exaggerates their abilities and station in life.
Entitlement
— expects that others will fulfill their every request. When this doesn’t happen, becomes overly frustrated, impatient and angry.
Jealous
— this trait is driven by low self-esteem of one’s self value. When they see others with money or power, they find them a threat.
User
— willing to use others or take advantage of others, with little empathy or feeling for them.
The higher the score, the more likely the person you’re evaluating has higher tendencies for being narcissistic. Someone who’s painfully challenging to work with may not have a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). The prevalence rate over the general population life time is 6.2 per cent, which means about six out of 100 employees.
One doesn’t need to have NPD to demonstrate narcissism that makes them more difficult to manage. Some employees constantly have a higher degree of self-importance and the expectation that their environment needs to support their needs first.
Here are some coaching tips for dealing with employees with high narcissism tendencies:
Understand that there’s little, if anything, you can do to change someone who’s highly narcissistic. Your objective needs to be to manage their behaviour and not allow it to negatively impact you or other employees.
Learn how to say “No.” This type of person needs clear boundaries.
Avoid personalizing that their behaviour is your problem or fault. They’ll try to make you feel bad. Know their behaviour is due to their constant need for attention. When they don’t feel they’re the centre of attention they’ll place blame quickly.
Practice controlled ignoring. Avoid taking the bait by asking them what’s wrong, unless there’s an obvious safety concern.
Monitor your energy and don’t allow their constant needs to bring you down. Keep in mind that if you don’t monitor these employees they can quickly drain all your energy.
Know that most often these employees are highly insecure and don’t react well to unsolicited criticism or feedback. Set the stage for providing feedback by approaches such as, “I know you want to do a great job. Is that correct?”
Keep in mind that though they can be tiresome, most of these employees are not a real threat. While they can be emotional and short with people when they don’t get their way, don’t tolerate incivility or rude behaviour. Set expectations and enforce them in a firm and fair manner.
Avoid gas-lighting traps. To gain an upper hand, it’s not uncommon for these employees to question your memory of events to get you to doubt your thinking. Documentation is your best defence; keep a log of behavioural concerns.
Don’t get into debates. When you need action, set clear expectations by asking targeted questions, like: “Are you clear on what we need to do to solve this problem? Do you have the ability to solve this?”
Be open to get help and support for advice on how to manage their behaviour.
