When it comes to the Tory Gong Show presently being played out in Charlottetown, if we had a mallet here in the office we would have banged a gong long ago - with the hope that the action would signal the end to this hapless act.
But instead, and not unlike the 1970s amateur-hour on NBC, this Progressive Conservative implosion continues - much to the chagrin of many members of the once proud party.
The breakdown began when the knives were unsheathed in the Tories' back room. Out they came and headed swiftly for the head of former party leader Olive Crane.
Crane responded accordingly, refusing to leave the post to which she was duly elected before her time was up. But the pressure and the polls finally became too much. The damage from this public relations nightmare was done and the party's old boys club finally won out - she stepped down.
But what did backroom win?
From here it looks like they walked off with one of the ridiculous prizes often afforded to particularly bad contestants of the aforementioned Gong Show - two leaders for one party. From the Gong Show to now something akin to Sesame Street's two-headed monster trying to spell ‘run'.
But can a two-headed monster run without tripping?
Hal Perry was elected by the five-person caucus to be Opposition leader last Wednesday. The next day his caucus-mate, Steven Myers, was elected interim party leader by a combined vote from the party executive and the caucus. An opportunity to present a united front was tossed out the window by infighting. This party just can't get it right.
What is this saying to the electorate? Many must (or should) be questioning what would be in store for us if a party that can't manage its own affairs without disastrous results ever came to power?
Liberals and NDPers must be privately splitting their sides with laughter and celebrating over this.
There is no doubt that, on his own, either Hal Perry or Steven Myers would provide sound leadership for the party - but put them together and we predict more of the same, at least until a single, permanent leader is found - something similar to the opportunity squandered last week.
It doesn't matter how well Perry and Myers try to sell this coalition of leadership, or even what they accomplish together. All that matters in the politics of Opposition is public perception, and the perception is that this party is a mess.