Fourth Annual All-Freak Football Team

John
John Turner
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It’s time for the fourth annual All-Freak Football Team.

In order to qualify for this prestigious team, you need not only some skills, but important intangibles such as toughness, leadership, charisma and guts.

In conjunction with this team, The Freak’s boys - Finn, Charlie and Owen - are for some curious reason big football fans.

When other kids in the neighbourhood pretend they are Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin, these boys love playing football in all weather conditions, pretending to be Eli Manning, Hakeem Nicks, Justin Tuck and Ed Reed among others.

The boys love watching NFL games with The Freak, and are very knowledgeable of big names courtesy of their favourite channel - NFL Network.

The Freak thought it was appropriate that, with their love of the game, they should pick their first annual All-Freak Kids’ Team without any input from papa bear. Some of the reasons are priceless!

ALL-FREAK TEAM

Offence

Quarterbacks

Chargers’ Phillip Rivers - feisty, tough and gunslinger mentality.

Pats’ Tom Brady - put up amazing numbers with receivers he had.

Running Backs

Jags’ Maurice Jones Drew - small in stature, huge heart and played hurt most of the season.

Browns’ Peyton Hillis - big, strong battering back that you could have obtained for a bag of balls in June. Earned every inch of his 1,100 yards and 11 touchdowns.

Fullback

Falcons’ Ovie Mughelli - great blocker for Mike Turner, and is used in short yardage.

Tight Ends

Cowboys’ Jason Witten - can run block, catch, a leader and plays hurt.

Lions’ Brandon Pettigrew - a monster, shows fire and speed. Had 71 catches in only his second year.

Wide Receivers

Pats’ Wes Welker - makes tough catches over the middle, and you don’t see him running non-contact fly routes.

Steelers’ Hines Ward - gets better with age and makes big plays at critical moments.

Cards’ Larry Fitzgerald - had no quarterback to throw to him, never complained and still caught 90 passes.

Offensive Line

Tackles - Browns’ Joe Thomas - on a bad team that’s building the offence around him.

Bucs’ Donald Penn - big reason Tampa had a 1,000-yard rusher, and quarterback Josh Freeman had a great year.

Guards

Falcons’ Harvey Dahl - plays like a street fighter.

Chiefs’ Brian Waters - good guy on and off the field. Big reason KC led the league in rushing.

Centre

Jets’ Nick Mangold - makes all-important calls for all blocking schemes for his young quarterback.

Defence

Defensive Ends

Chiefs’ Tamba Hali - pressured quarterback all year. One big reason KC was the AFC’s surprise team.

Panthers’ Charles Johnson - had 11.5 sacks for a bad team, and biggest unknown talent in the league.

Defensive Tackle

Pats’ Vince Wilfolk - huge and pretty quick for a big guy in the middle of the D.

Lions’ Ndamukong Suh - is just a baby, and teams can’t control him.

Linebackers

Packers’ Clay Matthews - persistent and hard to believe he was a walk-on in college with his bloodlines. A big reason the Packers are in the Super Bowl. You got to love that hair.

Dolphins’ Cameron Wake - paid his dues in CFL. For a guy everyone passed on, he had 14 sacks.

Pats’ Jerod Mayo - one tough hombre, loves to tackle.

49ers’ Patrick Willis - a leader and flies all over the field.

Corners

Packers’ Tramone Williams - anyone who picks off Mike Vick to knock Philadelphia from the playoffs is on the team.

Jets’ Darrelle Revis - takes every team’s best receiver out of the game.

Falcons’ Brent Grimes - had five picks and an amazing 28 pass defences. Unsung hero of Atlanta’s secondary.

"In order to qualify for this prestigious team, you need not only some skills, but important intangibles such as toughness, leadership, charisma and guts." John Turner

Safeties

Ravens’ Ed Reed - only played 10 games, had eight picks and a game-changer.

Giants’ Antrel Rolle - made an impact in turning one of the worst pass defences into a solid unit.

Special teams

Returner

Falcons’ Eric Weems - turned the momentum around in a couple of games with touchdown returns. Averaged 27 yards on kickoffs, 12 yards on punt returns.

Kicker

Raiders’ Sebastian Janikowski - any kicker who can kick it 70 yards, eat 20 pieces of pizza and drive off on a Harley is a lock for the team.

Punter

No use for them when you can’t pin your opponents deep at least 75 per cent of the time. This team will go for it on fourth down every time.

ALL-FREAK

KIDS’ TEAM

Offence

Quarterback

Giants’ Eli Manning - don’t like his interceptions, but he’s their favourite.

Running back

Ravens’ Ray Rice - they like to eat rice.

Fullback

Packers’ John Kuhne - love when the crowd chants his name and sounds like “boos.”

Tight end

Ravens’ Todd Heap - second-favourite team is Baltimore as their aunt lives there.

Wide receivers

Colts’ Austin Collie - he’s tough and feel bad for his concussions.

Packers’ Greg Jennings - like running his quick slant in the back yard.

Offensive Line

Tackles

Ravens’ Michael Oher - loved his movie, “The Blind Side.”

Dolphins’ Jake Long - think he’s Howie Long’s son, who plays for Rams.

Guards

Giants’ Chris Snee - he’s Tom Coughlin’s son-in-law.

Saints’ Carl Nicks - he’s on The Freak’s Strat team, and they don’t know many others.

Centre

Giants’ Rich Seubert - he can play many positions and is tough.

Defence

Defensive Ends

Giants’ Justin Tuck - like that he’s the D leader.

Giants’ Osi Uminyeri - Charlie has his jersey and spin move.

Defensive Tackles

Lions’ Suh - love he’s doing so well as a rookie.

Packers’ BJ Raji - loved his “pick six” last week, and great end-zone dance.

Linebackers

Packers’ Clay Matthews - like seeing his long hair in the quarterback’s face. Steelers’ James Harrison - like how he punishes quarterbacks.

Bengals’ Dhani Jones - find his Right Guard commercials funny.

Ravens’ Ray Lewis - fear him and his dance.

Corners

Titans’ Cortland Finnigan - like his rough play and similar to Finn’s name.

Jets’ Antonio Cromartie - really don’t know why.

Safeties

Steelers’ Troy Polamalu - love his commercials, hair and interceptions.

Ravens’ Ed Reed - like when he laterals the ball on his picks.

Special Teams

Returner

Bears’ Devin Hester - love the saying from NFL Network commercial, “Devin Hester, you are ridiculous!”

Kicker

Raiders’ Sebastien Janikowski - like that he’s a fat kicker who kicks it really far.

Punter - Couldn’t come up with one, which shows what they think of them.

John Turner is a Summerside schoolteacher. His column appears every Saturday during the NFL season. Feel free to e-mail questions and comments to the footballfreak84@yahoo.ca.

Organizations: Blind Side

Geographic location: Tampa, CFL, Philadelphia Atlanta Summerside

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